No Love for Pluto

Following up on my post from earlier in the week, the IAU has made a decision about the solar system.

Apparently not fans of cartoon dogs (or Greek gods of the Underworld, depending on your point of view), the IAU has demoted Pluto, and now there are only 8 "official" planets in our solar system. The other eight planets have "orbital dominance" .. Pluto doesn't. It's orbit overlaps Neptune's. Therefore Pluto, along with some other celestial bodies like the earlier proposed planets like Ceres, will now be classified as "Dwarf Planets."

And so, the IAU has now confirmed there is no Santa Claus. Defenders of Pluto as a planet are upset. The widow of the man who discovered Pluto is upset. Apparently NASA thinks the "definition" is just lazy, especially since they are planning a mission to Pluto.

Yet, life goes on. Science is an ever-changing field, and it's understandable why this one particular scientific body wanted to come up with a "proper" definition of a planet. But as one of the many, many people since the 1930s who grew up with the knowledge that there are 9 planets, I can't help but be a little disappointed.

Mother******* Snakes on a Plane!!

Well, on a dare (yes, that's it), I went to go see Snakes on a Plane, a movie whose overhype has been overhyped.

I don't normally see a movie of this type.. but I needed an afternoon at the movies, and well, I heard this movie was "fun," so I thought I'd give it a go. None of the other movies looked all that fun. What's that? What about that Will Ferrell movie? Ummm....NO.

I won't bore you with the details of the plot..as it has been said 100,000 times before, the title explains it all. The story behind this movie's "cult" status has reached almost legendary proportions.. even CNN had a story on it (They needed 5 minutes to fill while they flew more people to the Middle East I guess). The story about how the movie was PG-13, but fan demand made the filmmakers do re-shoots to push it to an R rating..blah blah...in the end, this probably helped the movie.

The movie is by no means scary (to me, anyway). It's a monster movie, whose goal is to snake a high body count (get it?). This is not like Samuel L. Jackson's other monster movie, Deep Blue Sea, where anyone can die at any time, even the high profile actors. Nope. Snakes is a by-the-books monster movie with all your stereotypical "oooh! me me me! kill me" characters who might as well had had bullseyes painted on their foreheads.

Yep, I bet that couple having naughty sex in the lavatory while smoking a joint will live to find that true love isn't all physical. Hey, look, a snooty British guy who thinks about no one but himself and insults everyone! I bet by the end he'll learn a lesson and become a loving, caring person. And that old woman who got bitten by a snake while saving an infant will be rewarded with a speedy recovery. Right ma'am? Ma'am? Hmmm. Bored stiff, I guess.

So maybe the movie is scary to those people who have snake phobias.....

...which is who the filmmakers probably had in mind when making the movie. They must've read "The Snake Phobic Handbook" or something like that, because every horrible way you can possibly imagine of getting killed by a snake is this movie, each more ridiculous than the next. Nothing and no one is spared, not even cute cuddly pets. Also not spared are people's appendages..yes, even their naughty bits. And I bet you'll always check that air sickness bag on your next flight after seeing this movie! It was so comical, I expected Sam Jackson to try to poke a snake's eyes out with two fingers, only to have a snake block his hand with a forked tongue. When the movie ended I envisioned Porky Pig coming out with his trademark "that's all folks!" while the looney tunes theme played.

Yet in all this, the actors keep a straight face. They know the material is substandard, but they play it to perfection. I had flashbacks to Airplane. I almost wanted to see Robert Stack take command of the flight tower.

In the end, I didn't think I saw a bad movie. And by no means did I see a good movie. No, all I saw was a movie about snakes on a plane. This is what the movie promised, and this is what the movie delivered. You can expect no less. I had fun, it snapped me out of a funk as I laughed my way through it. The older gentleman in the row behind me and several seats down kicked his seat and let forth a girlish "Whoooooooo!" at points. Not even the fact that the dimwit projectionist left the light on in the projection booth spoiled my experience.

So, there you go. Unless you REALLY have to get out, I might save this for a dollar movie or rental. You may want to see what the buzz is about. Or is that hiss?

Planetary Harmony

Do you ever look up in the sky and wonder:
- Hey, how come Pluto gets to be a planet? That's so unfair!
- You know, I really don't have enough planets to memorize.
- I'm deeply confused as far as what a planet truly is. I wish someone would clear it up for me.

Well look no further, the IAU is coming to your rescue!

The IAU (International Astronomical Union) is currently meeting in Prague to determine the fate of our solar system.

Among the things being discussed, is the definition of the word 'planet.' Roughly stated, they want to make any object that orbits a star and has enough self-gravity to pull it into a spherical shape.

Whew, glad that cleared things up.

Whoops..except that definition puts the number of "official" planets over 9! It would add the asteroid Ceres, Pluto's "twin" Charon, and 2003 UB313, aka "Xena." And that's just for starters. The definition could apply to other objects as well, placing the number of known "planets" to several dozen.

But to add even more "clarification," the IAU first proposed making Pluto, Charon, Ceres, and Xena "plutons," because they're so darn different from the other 8 "classical" planets. That idea was nixed, and now they're looking at a different term and definition for these objects, making them "dwarf planets," and essentially eliminating them from being "proper" planets. A "proper" planet must have "orbital dominance."

This has caused heated debate between the scientists at the assembly, which runs till August 25.

I don't know about the rest of you, but in school when we were learning the solar system, we learned the current 9 planets, and there were several clever ways to remember the names and the order..take the first letter of each planet.. MVEMJSUNP.. and come up with something like "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas" and various iterations. That's the way it's been for decades. I shudder at kids these days trying to memorize new planets. 12 wouldn't be TOO bad..but somewhere in the 50s? It's not happening. What kind of clever way do you come up with to memorize MVEMCJSUNCU?

And now the scientists want to change that. It's understandable, for them.. they want to clearly define what a planet is, so that no further "confusion" will occur in the scientific community.

This is what bugs me, though. To me, the term "planet" has never been one rooted in scientific jargon. It's always been just a general term, or I guess you could call it a "public" or "cultural" term. I hate when scientists or politicians try to define things for the general populace.

If I could dare to bring up a reference from the show The Simpsons: their hometown was founded by a man Jebediah Springfield, who lives in myth and legend with his exploits and his character. Lisa Simpson, however, discovers he was truly a murderous pirate, who hated the town he founded. Lisa tries to expose him, but in the end, decides not to. Why? Because the legend has value just as much as the actual facts do.

I feel this is kind of the same for the Solar System. People have a classical view of it, and if someone tries to come in and change all that, then the view is tarnished. People have a hard enough time as it is getting excited about astronomy. Going and radically changing the definition of the cosmos would further decrease people's interest.

So, it's good that the scientists are trying to clear some things up for themselves. But maybe they can keep a separation of science and popular culture. Then everyone will be happy.

I'm Rich Redux

Lucky me, I won the British lottery again! Another $1.4 million to add to my burgeoning fortune.

But the lottery isn't the only thing that's adding to my bank account.

By some strange coincidence, a bunch of people overseas with the last name as me have passed on recently, and guess what, they're all millionares! Oil fields, mostly. Problem is, their relatives can't cash in on their fortunes, and they need my help. All I have to do is let them borrow my bank account for a bit, and when it's all said and done, I get a cut of the loot. Sounds fair to me. After all, the more money I get, the more I can invest and get even MORE money!

If this keeps up, I'll be able to buy my own island.

Tightening Up The Graphics on Level 2

Lately, there have been an increasing number of commercials on the cable networks Sci-Fi Network and G4, for learning how to program video games.

One thing to realize about Sci-Fi and G4. They enforce stereotypes. Big time. Sci-Fi is naturally a network that focuses heavily on Science Fiction programming. G4 focuses on video games, but they have other shows sprinkled in like Star Trek: The Next Generation, because let's face it, you can only have so many shows about video games.

The stereotype being enforced is a male one. To these networks, women don't seem to exist, or to matter. Hey, it's Science Fiction, it's video games, only nerdy guys are interested in that. Let's commit fanservice to the males and show things like scantily-clad women. Women won't be offended, because obviously no women like video games or science fiction!

Yep, the female hosts on a lot of the shows are model-variety, while the male hosts are just, average. Think a network where Conan O'Brien hosts everything (No offense, Conan).

So now we've got the background on the networks.. what about those commercials I mentioned?

Well, they're all pretty much the same. Come to our school! Learn to be a video game programmers! Play video games all day! Live the dream! All the commercials usually have two guys sitting playing video games, all the while saying how great it is, and how they can't believe that they do this for a living.

Yes, they're playing to the crowd. What do nerdy guys who watch science fiction and video game shows like to do? Play video games! Hey, let's give them false hopes and make them think that being a video game programmer will be a non-stop kegger.

I'm wondering if there are guys who actually fall for this glamorous view of the programmer. I studied programming in college. Guess what, you're probably going to be spending 99.98% of your time coding and debugging your game, and the other 0.02% beta testing it. At least that was my experience with programming. There was very little time spent actually using the program you were coding - most of it was spent making it.

I've read and heard stories about the development of video games. A GOOD video game (meaning, not one of these $5.99 games at Walmart like "Fish Tank Tycoon" or whatever) can take years of development. A lot of that time is spent at the office, sucking down sodas and eating heavily salted snack foods. Some programmers have to spend a lot of time away from their families during development.

If that doesn't bother people, take into account the lack of recognition a programmer gets. Sure, if a game does well, you're going to be proud. But most of the credit is going to go to the creator of the game. Much of the money will be spent marketing the game and paying the outrageous salaries of the big-name voice talent the publisher might get for the game. Is it going to be, "hey, there goes Rick Drywall, programmer of Killer Alien Slayer!" Nope. More likely it's going to be, "you were a programmer on Killer Alien Slayer? Oh, that game created by Quincy McReinhold? He's awesome! He has such original ideas. He's the best game creator ever!"

So, still not bothered? Still think you're going to be sitting in a recliner, with your best buddy at your side, playing games all day? And that hot scantily-clad women will be drawn to you because you make video games? Then by all means, go for it. You're exactly the kind of person these commercials are targeting.

And if you look at these commercials, think they are pretty stupid, but still are considering a career in video game programming? I salute you! You obviously know what's in store and I wish you well in the future.

I just hope you don't mind working with a bunch of guys. ;)

The Other White Meat

It's time for another recipe!

This one is very similar to a dish my Mom would make on occasion. When I started living on my own after college, I would make it alot myself, but never could get it quite right. I gave it up for awhile before I finally found a happy medium. It's pretty good, but you might want to keep some scented candles onhand for afterward - unless you like the smell of onions. I used Lipton onion soup mix, if it's not available where you are, well..hopefully there is some kind of equivalent.

PORK CHOPS IN ONION GRAVY
You will need:
3-4 Pork Chops, any variety
1 envelope dried onion soup mix
1 1/2 cups water (chicken/pork stock would also work well)
3 tablespoons flour

In a large skillet, brown the pork chops over medium high heat (avoid the temptation to season the chops with salt or pepper. There is plenty of seasoning in the gravy). Set the chops aside. Deglaze the pan with your liquid. I used water, stock can probably be used, but again, there is plenty of seasoning in the soup mix, so if you decide to use stock, I would go with a low-sodium variety.

Whisk in the flour and soup mix. Bring the mixture to a simmer, it should already be somewhat thick. Add the chops back in.

Cover and simmer for 45 minutes to an hour. You may want to turn the chops over halfway through the cooking process and give the gravy a light whisk.

Goes great on rice!

Parental Guidance is Suggested

I'm worried about children these days, and their future.

And it's not because of global warming, or pollution, or Social Security, or anything of that nature.

It's because of the values being taught these children, or lack thereof. Parental skills seem to be in decline. I'm not sure whether it's the lack of punishment being given, the general disinterest parents seem to have in their children's lives, or some other reason.

Much of this comes just from daily observations, and from firsthand accounts. My contributor could probably tell you a ton of stories from his place of business, mainly consisting of parents showing up late to pick up their kids, and how little they seem to care that they showed up late. I particularly enjoyed the one about the guy who showed up late out of spite. (Maybe we can get him to tell it one day)

A trip to the movies also provides much of this evidence. For example let's take my viewing of Superman Returns. The theater was not crowded, so I took a pretty nice seat near the middle. Later comes a man and his boy of, oh let's say 7 or 8. We had only started the trailers when the boy began commenting on what he was seeing. Okay, I can live with that, just as long as he knows to respect other people when the movie starts.

So on comes the "please be quiet" promo that begins every movie, and the film begins - along with the boy's comments. The boy apparently thought he was recording a DVD commentary for the movie. "Is that Superman?" "Is that Lex Luthor?" "Look at the dog!" "Look at the farm!" Each comment would end with the father giving a polite "shh" and the boy would say "okay" to his father, before waiting a whole 15 seconds to begin talking again. "Shh" was the only effort this man was making, even after he definitely began noticing my annoyance. At one point he even said something about me to the boy. The boy didn't care. He kept talking, and I moved in a huff.

Even a good 4 or 5 rows up, I still heard the comments. Angry stares were being made by the people around me. Eventually, the talking stopped. Whether this was because the boy got bored, or because the father actually showed some parenting and had a talk with his son, who knows. The point is, the boy should know better, and the father should take a more active role.

Not that it's always the kids at fault at the movies. Too many times do I see parents take kids into R-rated movies with no regard to the fact that the MPAA says about R-rated movies, "hey, we REALLY don't recommend this movie for anyone under 17." Oh, and taking babies in to a movie, brilliant. Especially at a midnight screening. My first screening of Spider-Man 2 was marred by what seemed to be a crowd of 50% crying children. At one point, riled, I loudly exclaimed, "Oh, I might as well join in. WAAAAH! WAAAAH!" Ask my brother and his wife. They'll gladly admit to this, and to their embarrassment of my outburst.

There's also rarely a time I go shopping that I don't see or hear some bad parenting. Kids going around knocking stuff down, screaming all the while. And the parents just sit there, doing nothing.

Well, why not punish these misbehaving children? Ah-ah, not so fast. In this politically correct society, any kind of physical discipline is frowned upon. Some of it is even viewed as child abuse! While I CERTAINLY don't laugh at the idea of child abuse - I do laugh at the fact that there are uptight people out there who see some mild spanking as "child abuse." Because guess what, my generation and probably every generation before as suffered much worse. I'm happy I got the "belt" treatment that me and my siblings got, after hearing what's happened to generations before. Now that's some tough love.

Do these people actually think that talking to the child and telling them they've done something wrong, and actually getting them to understand they've done something wrong, will solve things? As Bill Cosby said in Himself, "kids have the brain damage." If you tell them not to eat the cookie, and get them to agree to not eat the cookie, 2 minutes later, they're still going to eat the cookie. You've got to throw some discipline in every now and then. After hearing my dad coming up the stairs, removing his belt, I sure as hell wasn't going to do whatever I did, again. :)

Not that I'm saying kids get a beating, no. But this touchy-feely psychological style of parenting isn't going to work, either. With my parent's style, I turned out fairly well, I think. I respect other people and have compassion for other people's plights. Which is more than I can say about other people I've met and known.

And if I might take a page out of another work.. a comic book, believe it or not. I'm going to close with a bit of dialogue from Ultimate Spider-Man, where Peter Parker is talking about a misbehaving schoolmate. I think it sums things up rather nicely (thanks to Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley).

Sure, now he's just one of those guys, who likes to bust on everyone. Takes his shots, gives a wedgie, dumps a bucket of something on someone, and everyone laughs. Just jokes, right? He gets to say whatever he wants because he has a basketball jacket and a nice haircut. Because in this world, I guess all you need is a nice haircut. But here's the thing..he's going to grow up. He's going to become a man. And because you have rewarded him for his behavior year after year, because his parents don't seem to care, because all he knows now is that it's okay to act this way, to treat people like this.. he's going to grow up into a full-grown, greedy, mean, selfish liar. The world is full of them. The world is being run by them. And your "friend" is one of them. You need to learn it fast. This is the world.. good people don't get to be happy. We just sit and wait for one of these evil two-faced, greedy liars to step on our heads.

Truer words were never spoken. Let's hope this generation of kids and parents can turn things around.

Sour Apples

I often see things in life as test and/or challenge to one's path in life. The test or challenge can be extraodinary as saving people from a burning building or simple as withholding your fist from knocking out a person that is annoying you. Lately, I have viewed a new campaign of ads for Apple that test my patience. For those who haven't seen these commercials I will briefly describe what these ads are like. The commercials always start with two guys, one guy that is dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and one guy that is dressed in business suit. The well groomed business suit guy represents the p.c. while the slightly less groomed casual dressed guy represents Macs. The guys in the commercials always are friendly to each other, but the Mac is always amazed at the many flaws that his p.c. friend has. In one commercial both guys are talking about the fun things they can do, Apple says that he can do movies, podcasts (oooh an Ipod plug sneaky) and music; then the p.c. guy says he can do fun things like timesheets and spreadsheets, and pie charts. Needless to say the ad ends with the p.c. guy looking like a nerd thus all p.c. users are portrayed as nerds. I could go and describe other ads but I think you get the idea.

These ads remind me back when I was younger and when I belonged to the "Apple sucks" crowd. Today, I don't consider myself a part of that crowd, and for two good reasons. One, I own an Ipod, and two, my brother in law owns several Macs and I have seen what they can do. When I used to be anti-Apple I owned a mp3 player that was a major competitor to the Ipod, but I quickly decided to quit being so snobbish to Apple when my old mp3 player broke for no apparent reason. I am glad that I made the switch. I am not go on about the features of my Ipod, because I don't want to sound like I am being compensated by Apple, which I am not. My brother-in-law runs a graphic arts business from his home, and he uses Macs only. I asked why only Macs and I was told that Macs have the best software for graphic artists. This made sense to me and the answer was confirmed by my dad, who is a long time p.c. user.

When I begin to be more open about Apple products, these ads come out and really test me. I want to talk back to the t.v. and say something like, "Oh come on, a p.c. can do that as well and maybe even better." Whoops did I think that? Yes, yes I did, but I can't say that unless I want to fall back into that old "Apple sucks" crowd. I definitely, I want to avoid that, because I have seen the "p.c. sucks" crowd. Talking to members of this crowd, really gives one a perspective on things. I have talked to people from this crowd and basically they went into a long lecture of why p.c.s are infinitely inferior to their beloved Mac. If you haven't experienced this and you have a bad temper, I wouldn't recommend this experience. Having someone bragging about something they have and basically laughing at what you have is really demeaning. That's the main gripe I have with this new ad campaign. It seems to resonate the beliefs of the "p.c. sucks" crowd. I am not sure if this was really intentional by the writers of the ads, but one begins to wonder. I know that the ads sole purpose is to sell Macs, and their target audience is probably people that are Mac users or people shopping for their first computer. Personally, I could care less if one owns a Mac or p.c. I say go with what works best for you, and if that is Mac, then peace be with you and do the same for us p.c. users.

I'm Rich!

Well, a few weeks back, I got rich, and I keep getting richer! The money is just piling up! I must be one of the luckiest guys right now. How, you ask?

Why, I've won several different lotteries in the last few weeks! The Austrialian Lottery (twice), the British Lottery (twice), the "International" lottery (three times), and the Irish lottery (twice). Yep, I get to retire early.

My email notifications are always the same. I've won a random drawing, and all I need to do is claim the prize. Sometimes all they want is a phone call, and some others want me to fill out some information like date of birth, phone number, fax number.. which, of course, I'll be glad to give, what with all the money I'll be getting.

Does it matter that an Australian lottery is based out of England? Not to me. Large amounts of money.

And does it matter that I haven't entered ANYTHING? Or actually purchased any tickets? Nope. I'm willing to accept there are several "random" lotteries out there, and that other countries want to pony up the dough to non-citizens.

So unless this is come kind of crazy scam, so long, suckers!