Somewhere, Driver's Ed Teachers are Cringing

People seem to forget everything they were taught in Driver's Education, like most high-school-based learning. Unlike most high-school-based learning, instead of people forgetting knowledge through no conscious act of their own, people in Driver's Ed seem to forget because, once they get behind that wheel, they want to drive however the heck they want to, rules be damned.

Sadly, this causes people to forget extremely important guidelines - guidelines that could affect the safety of people in danger.

Twice in the last three days, an emergency vehicle has come down the road I was driving on. Friday, it was a fire truck. Today, it was an ambulance. The first thing I did, one of the things I learned in Driver's Ed, was to get out of the way of the emergency vehicle. "By the book," this means pulling off to the right side of the road and stopping. Naturally, it is not always safe to immediately pull off to the right side of the road - there might be cars to your right. And, there is not always a shoulder to pull off onto. I ran into both of these problems.

So, in the case of the fire truck, I had a shoulder off to the left, so I slowed down and pulled off into the shoulder. There was no shoulder today, and several cars on my right. I gradually slowed down and came to an eventual stop. Both times, cars were driving behind me. Both times, the cars driving behind me honked at me and cursed my name.

With the fire truck, the car behind me seemed to notice me pulling off to the shoulder and made an attempt to speed around. Today, the car behind me turned on his turn signal and appeared ready to get into the next lane (right into the way of the ambulance, I might add).

It wasn't until the emergency vehicles came close, that the cars finally realized what I was doing and stopped the honking, cursing, and fist-shaking. Yes, not until they were close by - because, you know, those sirens are way too quiet for anyone to hear from a distance. The emergency vehicles sped by, hopefully making their intended destinations in time.

When I began to slow down, the people behind me were obviously thinking, "What the #$%^%^ is this &%%$@! doing??! What a stupid #$^^%!!!"

I don't know what they were thinking when the emergency vehicles came by. I can only hope they thought "Oh, it's EMS. I'd better get out of the way and stop my selfish tirade. Boy, it's a good thing the guy ahead of me noticed. I owe him an apology." But that, of course, is wishful thinking. They probably went on with their business, and the next time someone slows down for an emergency vehicle, they'll probably go back to their honking and cursing.

Somewhere, those people's Driver's Ed teachers are cringing.

Hmmmm - how can I make bike riding more dangerous?

I've made my feelings for cell phone use pretty well known - especially when people are talking and driving at the same time. The two just don't mix.

But, lo and behold, someone else found a way to make talking on a cell phone dangerous - riding a bike and talking at the same time.

This guy wasn't using a headset, no - he was using the full-on "hand up to the ear" style of talking on the cell. Yes, he was steering with one hand and talking on the phone on the other. Oh, and he drove right in front of my car, causing me to slam on my brakes - and he just didn't seem to care (He also wasn't using hand signals, but thats beside the point).

So, here's to you, Mr. Talking-on-a-cell-phone-while-riding-a-bicycle. Just when I thought people couldn't get more careless with a cell phone, you've proven me wrong. Bravo!

How Dare you make us aware of our own stupidity

It was just another day at the grocery store - people driving like maniacs in the parking lot, hogging the aisles, not moving from a display for 5 minutes - the usual.

I gathered my small amount of items and headed up to the crowded checkout lanes, which were "stacked" two deep. A further lane had a person just finishing up. A closer lane had the same, but also had 3 or 4 people waiting for that aisle, all with only a few items. I decided to head up to the further aisle.

I waited about 2 minutes when one man who was waiting in the closer lane storms up to me and goes "sir, the line is back there!!" I explained that it looked like everyone was waiting for the closer lane. He angrily went on to say they were all in line "waiting for the next available aisle." Which was a big lie. They were all waiting for the closer lane. He saw me and probably went "why didn't I do that??!" These people were all clueless. I brought attention to their cluelessness, and they didn't like it.

I should have stayed and checked out, but I didn't feel like dealing with the people who obviously didn't understand how lines work. I gave a "yeah, whatever" to the man and went on to another lane.

There's an old saying, "that which is not directly observed tends to persist." I guess that means those people are destined to stand in long lines for the rest of their lives.

When bad networks go worse

Maybe you've read my post about cable news and how it stinks (click HERE if you haven't).

The Fox News Network is a large reason why cable news is so awful these days. How do I feel about them? Click HERE to see. Apparently they read my post, because they went and got themselves a sense of humor. Unfortunately for them, that sense of humor was on sale for 99 cents, and was way past its expiration date.

Fox News is threatened by The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central for some odd reason. The former has always prided itself on making fun of the American (and sometimes International) political system in general. Despite what many people say, the show doesn't lean primarily "to the left." And the latter, well, it's just a parody of some of the political talk shows seen on CNN, Fox, and MSNBC. The host Steven Colbert is not the same as the person Steven Colbert. The person Steven Colbert is just playing a character.

But Fox was so threatened by this show, they just thought they'd get their own "fake" news show, call it The 1/2 Hour News Hour, and bill it as "Fox's answer to The Daily Show."

But somewhere, somehow, Fox missed the point. The show is so horrendously awful, so painfully unfunny that it has to have a laugh track. As I watched this train wreck's credits, you could hear applause and hooting from the audience. Problem was, the camera was panning across the audience, and the people were sitting there doing nothing, perhaps wondering why they came to watch the show.

The show's only goal seems to insult Democrats, random people, and make fun of tragic events. After they had just finished making about 3 jokes about Al Gore, the male "anchor" began telling a story about a woman in a foreign country who killed and dismembered her husband. He then proceeded to state, "What ever happened to the silent treatment?" They then went on to trash people who stood in line for the IPhone, calling them "losers." Yeah, comedy gold.

It's so bad that the show holds the lowest score on the site Metacritic, which gathers reviews from Internet websites and newspapers around the country. Click HERE to read the reviews along with the frequently humorous comments from people who logged into the website, including allegations that the negative reviews are all a big conspiracy.

I've never been someone who has been heavily into politics. I'm not right-wing, left-wing, Democrat, Republican, Whig, or Greenback. So this post is not politically based. It's based on taste. And the show is in the worst possible taste you can get.

Keep trying, Fox News. Maybe you'll get it right some day.

I choo-choo-choose you

In the "people will buy anything" category, I was channel surfing the other day and came across a commercial for what will probably be the best-selling DVD of all time.

Trains! Trains!! TRAINS!!

2 DVDs featuring big trains, little trains, fast trains, steam trains, and more!!

And this set is NOT sold in stores, so it HAS to be good.

I couldn't even remember the name of the DVD, I was laughing too hard. Not so much the fact that the DVD was about trains - everyone has a hobby - it was just the presentation. They made it sound like this was just the most exciting DVD ever.

I'm sure they'll be following up their success with the long-awaited DVD sets on bicycles (one seaters! two seaters! unicycles!), trampolines (bouncy trampolines! umm..not so bouncy trampolines!), and paint (housepaint! spray paint! model paint!)

Remember, they're not sold in stores, so keep an eye out for those high-profile commercials.

One minor adjustment..

It is said that time can speed up or slow down depending on certain situations, i.e., "Time flies when you're having fun." But I've yet to hear anything like "time flies when you're adjusting to change in your life." In fact, I would say most big changes in people's lives are met with agonizingly slow times - divorce, children, starting school. I've never heard anyone say "I just had a baby boy, and man, the months are just flying!"

And yet for me, the last 2 months, rife with change, have flown by.

It seems like just yesterday that it was time for me to have a nice little vacation. I'd go to my sister's wedding, visit with my parents for a week, then return to the grind at my job of nearly 4 years.

But before I went on vacation, I was restless at work. I needed a change, and I think I needed to get away from what I felt were the childish attitudes of several of my co-workers. I felt an internal promotion, while not a huge change, would provide the spark I needed. A position was about to open up, I just didn't know when, and I was about to go on vacation. I didn't want to miss it, so I asked a co-worker to hold on to a copy of my resume, and the internal application, in case the position opened up while I was away. That meant updating my resume. I couldn't find my hard copy of it, so I went on to Monster.com. Monster allows you to save your resume on there as a Word document. So, I updated it and saved a copy.

But the thing is, when you update your resume on Monster - even if it's just adding a period - it bumps your resume to the top of the list, and makes it look "new." Several headhunters out there were now seeing my resume.

I hadn't even unpacked at my destination before the calls and e-mails started coming in from recruiters. Most of the positions just didn't sound appealing to me, and several wanted me in for an interview ASAP, which obviously wasn't going to happen. The calls and e-mails continued throughout my vacation, but for the most part I ignored them and enjoyed my vacation. A couple I told my situation, and they happily said they could wait to talk to me.

So, I waited till my last day of my vacation and called these people. There were claims of "Wow, we read your resume and we just think you're perfect," but as usual, these claims were false. They asked me if I had experience in certain skills (something obviously spottable on my resume). I said no. One person's remark was "oh, well, that pretty much eliminates you." One of them said they'd talk to the hiring managers (the same ones which allegedly just gushed over my resume) and get back to me. I thought, "I'll never hear from you again." I went on with my life and my job.

Astonishingly, the person who told me I was "pretty much eliminated" called and wanted me to come in for an interview, despite my tremendous under qualification. I obliged. I blew off the usual interview preparedness routine, gave a quick once-over of the company's website, and went to the interview. They asked me questions I really didn't know the answer to, so I applied the questions to my current job. I went out of the interview confident they would find my skills lacking for the position. Still, I went home, and gave the requisite "thanks for the opportunity" e-mail to the recruiter. Shortly afterward, I got a reply.

"Can you come in for an interview tomorrow?" Suddenly the people I gave as references were telling me they got calls from the company. They were surprisingly interested in me. The second interview ended up being scheduled for a week later. That morning, a terrible storm rode through. I arrived at the company to a near-empty parking lot and an office like a ghost town. I announced myself at the front desk, and got an astonished look. "I think you're the one we were trying to get in contact with!"

Apparently they'd lost power and sent almost everyone home. I was informed they'd been calling me and e-mailing me to reschedule (which wasn't the case). But, I was there, and the manager took me in for an interview. He led me to the conference room, and left to take care of a few things. I decided to take the "high road" and asked him when he returned, if I should just come another time. He thought about it and said it would probably be best. So "another time" became the next day. It was essentially a repeat of the first interview. I felt the same way walking out as I did the first time.

4 days later I was told I got the job, and an offer was being prepared. 3 days after that my offer came through, nearly twice what I was currently making. I quickly accepted. Within minutes I was at my office, explaining to my stunned boss I would be leaving. A week later was my last day at my job of 4 years. 2 days after that my new job started. That was almost a month ago.

All that started early May. Now it's mid-July. I don't know where the time went, really. I've gone from a Friday thru Monday 10 hours schedule to a Monday thru Friday 8 hour schedule. I've gone from starting at 7am to starting (for now) at 9am. I now have a "classic" weekend as opposed to my beloved "mid-week" weekend. I've had to re-adjust to dealing with the large volumes of people at stores and theaters. I've got a much larger income coming in, where I can finally pay some debts off.

And time has flown. It won't be long until it's August and I'll be celebrating some family member's birthdays. It seems like I don't have the time to do what I really want to do after work and on the weekends - including putting some posts on here.

So, anyone else experience this? Long gaps of time completely gone, as you adjust to changes in your life? Is adjustment ... FUN? Because logic would say if time flies = having fun, and facing adjustment in your life = time flies, then having fun = facing adjustment in your life.

I guess a change-up in life is like a change-up pitch in baseball. The change-up is designed to disrupt your timing. A good batter will observe the pitcher and learn to anticipate when the change-up is coming. Then they can knock it out of the park.

Guess I just need to observe life more and anticipate the change-up.