The End of an Era

There was no grand ceremony, no honor guard, and certainly no formal closure. It just happened. Prophets and psychics couldn't have predicted the timing of the end of a major era in my life. I had a feeling that it would come someday, but I admit I was blindsided by the news. The news was a deathblow to a long, miserable, and educational time in my life.

For most of my childhood I was in a war to cheat the Grim Reaper out of a youthful prize. Thanks to God, family, and brilliant doctors the war was won. I went to school and I met other kids in my class, but I was socially awkward. The older I got, the more I learned how to be social (I learned very slowly). Most of my lessons came from negative experiences, which mainly consisted of "what not to do" scenarios. Some may think this way of learning life's lessons is natural, but I think it's perverse and sad. For me, the main rub of this now dead era was: no matter whom I hung out with, the same negative experiences kept happening to me. If my negative experiences stemmed from one person, there would've been an easy solution to the problem. Granted, it wasn't all doom and gloom. I met people with unique personalities which helped me realize what I valued in a person. As perverse as it sounds, my negative experiences made me a stronger person (sadly not physically). I am glad that I learned these hard lessons at a young age. I just wish there was no need to learn any hard lessons at all.

If this dead era is so bad, then why am I mourning its loss? I mourn the loss because I look back and see what I could have done to make things better for me and others. Honestly, I look back and cringe at the stuff I didn't do. I will mourn for this loss, but as with all mourning I must move on. I've heard it said that "life is all about change", I don't know who said it, but they are right. The scary thing is: where does this change lead to?

What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. Job 3:25