Adventures at the Book Store (or, Stereotypes Aplenty)

The following story is based on actual events. Only names and places have been changed. Material is not meant to offend anyone, so apologies in advance.

Wayne Walker pulled up to the Narnes and Boble, there to look for any new books that may pique his interest. He had been up since 3:30 AM, and had just worked 10 hours, but he wasn't all that tired. He was hoping to quietly stroll through the store and maybe find a book to keep him occupied during the early hours at work; little did he know what stereotypes lurked inside.

Wayne wasn't a big fan of stereotypes. He lived in Texas for quite some time, and constantly tried to change people's views of the "stereotypical" Texan. He felt that stereotypes were just material for comedians, sitcoms, and movies. "Oh, here comes the dumb blonde! Followed by the snooty British guy!" Wayne shook his head and it all.

Wayne had decided to use the "side" door, as about six people decided to use the main door - all at once, and they all seemed to want to go a different direction and use a different door. The side door actually led directly to the in-store coffee bar. Wayne felt as if he'd walked onto a sitcom set. There were students there doing homework. There were upper-class folks with three shopping bags for each hand. There were people giving coffee orders so specific that it took them several minutes just to finish.

He quickly moved past the coffee bar and back towards the books, then started his browsing in the cookbook section. As Wayne glanced over the covers, a peculiar yet distinct "blap" sounded behind him. He turned to see an overweight woman of perhaps 300 pounds. She was eating a candy bar, and was aimlessly walking through the aisles. She loudly broke wind every two minutes or so. She passed through the science fiction section, broke wind again, and Wayne faintly smelled a foul odor. "Is this woman for real," Wayne thought, "or am I on some movie set?" As the odor grew stronger, Wayne decided to avoid the science fiction section for now and headed in the opposite direction, away from the walking "overweight person stereotype."

He came across the graphic novel section - two teenage boys were sprawled across the aisle, graphic novels everywhere. They simply did not care about anyone else who may have wanted to browse the books. Thinking he might be dreaming, Wayne pinched himself - no, he was awake alright.

"I know," Wayne thought to himself, "I'll go to the history section. There's hardly anyone ever there." He headed towards the history section, past the person with their cell phone stuck to their ear, around the grown man blocking another aisle. He turned into the history section - only to find two teenage girls there, talking so quickly and so incoherently that Wayne thought they must be speaking some foreign language.

Wayne gave up. He couldn't take the massive group of stereotypes who somehow found their way into the bookstore. He stopped by the restroom first, and even there he was not safe from the stereotypes. He passed a man who did not bother to flush the toilet, or wash his hands. Wayne glanced over into the stall, where someone had abandoned some magazines they felt they needed to tote into the bathroom while they did their business. After washing up, Wayne left the store, and vacated his parking spot right in front of the store to someone who wanted the spot so bad, they had stopped, turned on their turn signal, and held up 5 other cars.

There would be no television or movies any time soon for Wayne - he decided he'd had enough people portraying stereotypes. He went home, played with his cat, and took his bicycle out for a spin.