The Plan

Plans, they're everywhere; a person in this day and age cannot competently complete a task without some sort of plan. Military leaders have a plan to assist them in preparing for an upcoming battle. Politicians use a plan to gain a victory over their opponents. Villains (real or fictional) also employ a plan to gain victory over their opponents. Whatever the purpose, a plan can be devised to fit one's needs. Of course, like most things in life, plans are not fool proof, and one in particular fits in this category. The plan I am referring to is the "life plan." Unfortunately, this plan is not tangible, but result of my observations of what people expect of themselves and others. This expectation is especially strong among people in their 20's and early 30's. Let me take a moment to sketch out what this plan might look like. It may look like something like this: Survive school through your senior year. Go to a college and or a university, while there you eventually start a serious dating relationship. The relationship gets stronger and the question is popped. Marriage occurs near or after college graduation. You start your career and with your new paycheck, you make some big investments (a house and car). Years pass, and eventually you become a parent, thus quieting the endless nagging of your parents on becoming grandparents.

I could go on, but this the part of the "life plan" I am most concerned with. I have accomplished some of the stuff that I have listed, but most of it I haven't. I haven't met someone I can seriously date, and I haven't started my career. I also haven't purchased a house or a car. I can honestly say these shortcomings wouldn't bug me so much if these expectations were not imbedded in society. Surprisingly, my family is not so pushy. One would expect that one's family to most vocal about this, but not so in my family (much to my relief). I usually get reminded of my shortcomings from friends and acquaintances. The reminders usually come up in small talk. Comments like: "When are you going to find some nice gal to go out with?" or "Oh yeah, my friend is 25 and he has a wonderful wife and two children." I usually respond by nodding or smiling, but my brain starts to scream with "what if scenarios." The only way I can calm my brain is by consuming chocolate and caffeine.

For me it's about pressure and expectations. I know I am not the only one who is in the same situation. I have a friend at work (it's true I have a friend at work) whose life did not follow the "life plan." This may sound twisted, but I take some comfort in that. It is nice to know that I can talk to someone about it and gain some perspective. I would be a liar if I said that I don't feel envy towards people that have achieved much if not all the expectations that society has placed on us young adults.

I often find myself daydreaming of what it would be like if my life took a different path, but deep down I know it's useless. What can I do? I wish I had a clever, simple, and poignant solution. Sadly, I do not. I guess all I can do is take things one day at a time and ignore the expectations of others.