Tonight's top story..cable news stinks

"This is CNN," the immortal words of James Earl Jones, lampooned and imitated throughout popular culture. Ask anyone what they know about the Cable News Network, and it's likely that they'll at least respond, "Hmm, CNN... oh, you mean like (in a deep voice) this...is CNN?"

Introduced in 1980 by media mogul Ted Turner and "some other guy," CNN has become what is probably the most well-known and well-respected news institutions in the world. Sadly, in my humble opinion, it has not shown it in the past year.

I seem to recall at one point CNN being the "rebel" in the news world. Up until that time, it was the big three covering the news: ABC, CBS, and NBC would all have their top guys there, who were probably throwing spitballs and putting "kick me" signs on the reporter from CNN. "Hey, look there's that nerd from CNN. Let's tell the rebels that he is hoping the government crushes them! Heh heh!"

But CNN grew, they started taking their vitamins and drinking their milk, and it wasn't long before they were pushing around the other guys. It was probably in the early 90s, with the "First" Gulf War, when they gained the most popularity. They had the videos of the missiles hitting the buildings. They were cool. They even were being aped in popular culture, using usually thinly-veiled references, like calling a news network "GNN" or what not. The short lived show The Critic featured Duke Phillips and his media empire, which closely resembled that of Ted Turner; he even had his own news network.. that's right, PNN.

CNN was almost a staple for me in my college days. Well, that, but mostly their sister station, CNN Headline News, which uses a cyclic 30 minute format to recap all the day's news. I remember how cool I thought it was when Headline News started their "news ticker" feature to scroll big news stories and facts across the bottom of the screen. I loved how I could come back to the dorm after a long day of classes and be able to get caught up with the news in only a half hour.

But somehow, some way, CNN lost its sense of direction. Whereas I used to find the station informative, I find it largely opinionated now, reporting mainly on the "flavor of the month" as it were. Even Headline News I find to be out of whack. Almost a "CNN-Lite." I think it has largely to do with the upstart news networks of Fox News (the only news is what we tell you, dammit!!)and MSNBC (you'd think with NBC being around for so long we'd know what we are doing). Fox News adopted the attitude of its network cousin.. it's news, but with an attitude! They seemed to find the snippiest reporters from around the U.S. and gave them jobs. MSNBC is there too, although it seems to me they are the puppy dogs of cable news and follow the crowd. I also get the impression their anchors are rejects from other networks and failed shows.

With viewership transitioning to the other networks, CNN seems to have altered their programming and way of thinking. Sadly now its hard to tell them apart from everyone else. I don't get news anymore; I get a panel discussion on a big story. The funny thing about my local cable provider is that CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC are all back-to-back in the lineup. So I can literally turn on one station and then switch between the three and get the same exact story, only the "headline" is different. CNN displayed "The Blame Game," while 2 stations up, Fox displayed "Shifting the Blame." It's eerie.

When I choose to watch cable news, I honestly don't want to be told what news story I should be concerned about. Where's the global news? Happenings around the world? The networks don't care. They'd rather talk about day 23 of the missing person in the Bahamas, and how local law enforcement stinks there. Now don't get me wrong. I feel for that person and their family. It must be horrible what they're going through. But guess what, dozens, maybe hundreds of people are reported missing per day. What about them? Don't they deserve some attention? Instead of spending 2 hours discussing one person, how about going through a whole list of missing persons cases? Even toss in a number to call in with info. And don't even get me started on the whole "husband who wanted to take his wife off of life support" story a few months ago. Thankfully I've erased most of that info from my memory. What a debacle that was.

This is probably why more people are turning to the Internet for their daily news fix. They can pick and choose what stories they want information about, more often than not without some bozo wanting to blame whatever it is on a government official or scapegoat.

So, I say, this is CNN? Hardly. A mere shadow of the drive and professionalism that made it what it is. Oh, and Fox News, you're not helping. Not everything is a conspiracy or the fault of one person or another. Nor is every news story the subject of endless debate. Sometimes news is just news. I'd like to have that back.