Kitty Dictionary

The following is a list of terms that I often use to describe certain actions that my cat, Sniper, does. I thought it would be a hoot if she took over the keyboard for a change. I of course, will supervise - No you won't- uh yes I will Sniper. Look, if you don't leave I will scratch you real bad- Ok, do that then you won't get any milk later today - Fine then, you can at least stay in the room in case I need your help. Anyways, here she is in her writing debut, Sniper. I hope you scratch something out real nice. HA HA get it Sniper, scratch something out- *Sniper gives daddy an evil glare* - Ok, so you don't get it geez everybody is a critic, well here she is folks my darling, pretty, and not to mention evil cat, Sniper. *Sniper continues to look at daddy with evil eyes, but soon turns to the computer screen* Greetings, servants to all feline kind umm I mean dear readers, I want to take few minutes to clear up some things. I promise not take a long time since I have a post morning nap that will precede my evening nap. It has come to my attention that some humans are not totally clued in certain cat terms. These terms make it easier for humans to describe on the different cute things we cats do. I want to make this clear so humans will communicate better on how cute we are and so more cats will be placed in strategic places around the world, ummm I mean so more cats will be adopted into more good homes. Then when that happens all felines will be able to TAKE OVER THE WORLD, ummm *licks face*. Anywho, lets get started on the brainwashing errr education.

Wiggle Butt- This is the action the precedes a deadly strike. Cats hunker real low to the ground when they see a potential prey, and then we wiggle our butt to the left and the right several times before we let loose. I usually perform this action when I wanna pounce on a the deadly plastic bag, or the unsuspecting feather toy, or daddy's barefoot. *purrrsss when thinking about pouncing on daddy's foot*

Road Kill- This term describes the most comfortable and relaxed nap position ever. When I am really tired I usually get this way. I usually get tired if I am awake more than two hours during the day. I just lay on my back and let all my legs sprawl out and I have my head facing either to the left or right, and sometimes for laughs I slow my breathing down enough so my daddy will freak out and think I am dead. HA HA it's great, but then its all ruined when he wakes me up.

Halloween Cat- I usually do this when I am scared or I am having a lot fun playing chase with my daddy. Whatever the cause, I do the same thing everytime. I arch my back as high I can get it, then I make my hair stand straight up, then I try to get a vicious look in my eyes. This is all done while walking slowing sideways so I can show off my vicious look. Sadly this doesn't work on daddy, he usually laughs or say something like "Ohhh scary" in a mocking tone.

Sniping- This term was coined by daddy's mother, I guess I should call her grandma, but actually I think of her feet as targets. Whenever I go to grandma's house (of course when I go there it becomes my house) I would hide under a chair where I am totally concealed and wait for her to walk by. When the poor sap (ummm wonderful lady) would walk by the chair I would reach out with my front paws with claws out to grab her feet. Sadly, she usually wears socks around the house so I can't do much damage.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I am behind on my busy napping schedule. I hope the brainwashing kicks in ummm I hope you learned something useful. I will have to check with daddy, but I might be back someday to add some more terms. Hey what's that sound? I think I hear daddy opening a can of tuna, ummm gotta run.