First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence

In case you didn't know, the Academy Awards were last night. I didn't watch, but I did check out the list of winners. It really seems that this year the Academy decided to stray away from the typical "only child" award style to a "we love each and every one of you equally" style.

I got to thinking, when an person wins an Oscar, from then until the day they retire, movie trailers always bill them as Academy Award Winner. Is this like a legal name change or what? "Your new first name is Academy Award Winner, middle name is George, and last name Clooney."

Or perhaps it is a bestowed title such as "Sir?" Do the winners go backstage when they win, and then the president of the Academy has them kneel, and touches the winner's shoulders with an Academy Award?

Maybe they should start doing that sort of thing in schools. You know, such as, "Hey look, it's Fifth Grade Perfect Attendance Winner Billy Jackson!" Give those kids a little shot in the arm.