Study Finds

I've always been interested in how researchers convince institutions to back certain studies. I'd like to think that certain studies would be approved without hesitation, such as studies to alleviate certain diseases and conditions.

But then there's the other studies. The ones you find online or in the newspaper that just make you say "What?" These are the studies where I would like to be present during the "pitch" to whomever would be financing said study. How do they present their study? What are the benefits of their study? How can the financier profit?

These are just some of the studies that have published results recently.

• Swearing on the job can reduce stress and boost employee morale.
• Fish suffer from insomnia.
• Rap videos can encourage young women to drink alcohol.
• Secondhand cigarette smoke can hurt kids' grades.
• Children living on farms have a lower risk of asthma.
• Early humans threw clambakes and beach parties.
• School bullies and their victims are more likely to be the victims of crimes outside of school than other children.
• People believe gossip more than actual facts.
• Dairy farmers are more satisfied with their jobs than "multi-purpose" farmers.
  
• There is no strong evidence that shoe insoles help prevent back pain.
• Afternoon naps can help lower blood pressure.
• Rich people are more "neighborly" than poor people.
• Adult women are more likely to develop acne that adult men.

Yes, someone out there paid another someone out there to determine that fish suffer from insomnia. Which makes me wonder if fish insomnia leads to fish multiple personality disorder, which in turn leads to fish fight clubs. Or something.

I'm sure there's got to be SOME major purpose behind some of these studies. I'm sure my Romanian scientist friend might say that some of the work she's involved in helps us gain a greater understanding of our surroundings, and our universe. And that I can completely respect, for some people's main goal is knowledge. And what a wonderful feeling it must be to know how certain things in the cosmos work.

But is knowledge the ultimate goal for the researchers who performed the studies above? Is some scientist sitting back in a chair with a big grin on their face, thinking, "Wow, now I know that rich people are friendlier neighbors than poor people!" Or are they thinking, "Wow, I can't believe I got paid to ask dairy farmers how satisfied they are with their jobs!"

Hmmm. Guess I'll have to start a study on that.